zeldathemes

We're like cats VS dogs. I'm the dog because I'm a bitch and you're the cat because you're a fucking pussy.

We fit together like two pieces of a broken heart
So my boyfriend of about 8 months and I broke up mutually over the summer, and we are still friends and stuff and he just kissed me today and I texted him later and asked him why he kissed me and he said "idkkkk. Don't worry about it lol" AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE CRYING. I don't want to get back together with him but I just 😩😭

Anonymous

Give him an ultimatum, either he kissed you because he still has feelings for you or he kissed you because he is a dick playing your feelings. Give him an ultimatum.

I saw you write CS's fics, can you write one about Hook won a competition of the most “handsome” man in SB and Charming been jealous while Emma is like “ok, but he is mine” ? I am sorry if I am been boring or something like that.

captainswanfanfiction:

lizzy-c807:

that-damned-bar-wench:

[A/N: this fanfic was probably too easy to write! I mean the feels I already have for captain Charmig and the fact that I could just picture how everyone would react this was just so much fun!]

CS- The Only Thing That’s Ever Been Mine

       When Killian waltzed into the diner with a smirk plastered on his face Emma knew they were in trouble. Killian held a flyer in his hand which he slammed down on the table before them. A one hundred dollar bill was paper clipped to the top with “congratulations” scrawled on the paper in black sharpie. 
   
    Red text titled the flyer as: “Storybrook’s Most Handsome Man Competition: Results Are In”. 

      Three pictures were blown up to larger size, namely 2nd-4th place and one photo was larger than the rest and titled first place. The dashing rapscallion whom had sauntered in with the flyer was the humble winner. 

         “Read it and weep, Chaming, my mate,” Killian teased, crossing his arms and watching their expressions as Emma, Chaming, Snow, Regina, Henry, Tink, and Robin read the flyer. They had gathered for a family dinner at the diner and Roland was occupying Neal playing with his hands. 

       “Look at you in second place,” Regina smiled and pat Robin’s shoulder. 

        ”Second place deserves more than a shoulder tap,” Robin began but Regina leaned into his ear and whispered something incoherent. Robin laughed, “That sounds fair.” Regina laughed and rolled her eyes. 

           “FOURTH!” Chaming exclaimed in out rage. “I got FOURTH!” 

             “Haha, so you did,” Snow laughed happily. “Congrats on the title Killian, clearly the ladies have given their vote of approval.” 

          ”That’s awesome! He got one hundred bucks for being hot! I want to grow up and make money for being hot!” Henry high-fived Killian. 

         “Hey mister, there’s more to life than being hot,” Regina informed him. 

           “Who allowed this competition/poll thing to go on? It’s truly condescending to all the people who didn’t place first!” Charming exclaimed. 

         “I’m rather content in second,” Robin piped up. 

      ”Well second’s basically first!” Charming whined. 

       “You’re just upset you got fourth, o l d man,” Regina laughed. 

        ”I’m younger than you,” Charming said offended. 

          ”Hey now!” Snow interjected placing a hand on Charming’s chest. 

           “Pay up, mate, unless you want to teach the little lads to launder with bad form,” Killian prodded him. 

           “Ha! Dad you’re only upset because you lost a bet to Killian, now this all makes sense!” Emma exclaimed with a giggle as she ran her hand through Killian’s hair. 

           “Here you filthy pirate! Double the prize money,” Charming threw two hundred dollar bills down on top of the hundred dollar bill. 

           “Holy shit you guys bet big money,” Ruby remarked as she cleared their drinks. 

          Killian reached for the money but Emma was faster. “And that will buy me a new wardrobe because all my shirts keep getting-” she glanced at her parents and opted to say a better word for ‘shredded to pieces in the process of undressing before banging’ for a more modest, “ruined.” Killian still snickered giving them slightly away and Regina laughed stroking Robin’s arm. Emma got up and kissed Killian lightly before starting to walk off. “Mama’s got shopping to do.” 

       Regina grabbed her coat and ruffled Henry and Roland’s hair, merely winking at Robin, “I’ll come with for…moral support.” as the two women started to walk away a waitress walked over to the booth they had gathered in. She wore the short red leather skirt and barely-counted-as-a-shirt shirt that pushed her boobs up like a corset. 
 
       ”Hey, Captain, I was just wondering,” The black haired waitress’s fingers trailed along his hook and Emma felt a twang of jealousy beginning to spark in her core. “How you got your hook?” 

      That’s my line! Emma thought and she wheeled herself around. “Fuck no!” Emma strode over and slammed her lips against Killian’s her tongue dipping into his mouth and her fingers pulling him closer to her. 

        Emma pulled away out of breath and turned to stare spitefully at the departing waitress. “Granny you need to get some new employees!” Emma called out and Granny laughed. 

       Emma placed her arms around Killian and rested her chin on his shoulder, “Mine.” 

        ”So who got third place?” Snow said clearing her throat awkwardly after that display of affection from her daughter to the pirate. 

             “Is that?” Emma asked furrowing her eyebrows. “It is.” 

            ”Leroy!” Snow laughed. “Well would you look at that.” Charming just pouted. 

This is for captainswanfanfiction and otokele - Finally Found it! :)

Thanks so much for the help!

katbot:

Professor: Your essay must be 3,000 - 6,000 words

Me: image

lindsaylohoean:

the only nation i will ever rule is procrastination

default album art
Song: JAPANESE 101 - HOT DOG
Played: 714,951 times.

mc-jaeger:

kagays:

pjberri:

image

I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS

that took a turn i was not expecting

missriverrose:

cicinicole-14:

jillandkatemusic:

And for the cover of our rap album… #killandjate #justkidding

MCKENZIE. KENZ. KENzieeeeeeeeeee. #jate omf
missriverrose
WE’RE LIKE 6 FOOT 4, BLONDE HAIR TO THE FLOOR
YA SHORTIES AIN’T NEVER SEEN KILL AND JATE RAPPIN’ BEFORE
TRACK LIST:
01. Thug Life
02. KC Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Us
WE DON’T KNOW THE REST YET

YAAASSS MAN. YAAAAASSSSS.

missriverrose:

cicinicole-14:

jillandkatemusic:

And for the cover of our rap album… #killandjate #justkidding

MCKENZIE. KENZ. KENzieeeeeeeeeee. #jate omf
missriverrose

WE’RE LIKE 6 FOOT 4, BLONDE HAIR TO THE FLOOR

YA SHORTIES AIN’T NEVER SEEN KILL AND JATE RAPPIN’ BEFORE

TRACK LIST:

01. Thug Life

02. KC Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Us

WE DON’T KNOW THE REST YET

YAAASSS MAN. YAAAAASSSSS.

thedesolationofangels:

I LOVE HOW THE ORPHAN BLACK DVD LISTS TATIANA MASLANY 5 TIMES IN JUST THE SUMMARY

Actually it’s 6 times.

thedesolationofangels:

I LOVE HOW THE ORPHAN BLACK DVD LISTS TATIANA MASLANY 5 TIMES IN JUST THE SUMMARY

Actually it’s 6 times.

taylor on twitter: i didn't know i had a home phone. interesting development.
taylor on instagram: hey, baby, i just read your letter and you're so sweet. i love you. stay strong.
taylor on tumblr: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA THE TABLES ARE TURNING HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I WIN
me: i don't even care. i'm not going to talk about this anymore.
...
me: and you know what else? [2000 word rant]

free-will-fallen-angel:

consultinggallifreyanfallenangel:

ohsnapitzshadow:

carryonmy-assbutt:

fricklesfrackles-letsfrickackles:

domina-domina-omnimalum:

thebabbagepatch:

hereghostyghosty:

jordaamn:

johnstridur:

adriofthedead:

thesunmaid:

parents making sex jokes

image

grandparents making sex jokes

image

nine-year-olds making sex jokes

image

nine-year-olds

image

NINE

image

NEIN

image

image

image

Welcome to tumblr where we go from parents making sex jokes to sassy Hitler in 0.6 seconds

Is this a thing

image

And it’s Supernatural with the win

cassyassbutt:


backpat:

captoring:

4w-k:

all time favorite quote c:

shoulder shoulder shoulder shoulder 
your favorite quote. is. shoulder. shoulder. shoulder. shoulder.

cassyassbutt:

backpat:

captoring:

4w-k:

all time favorite quote c:

shoulder shoulder shoulder shoulder 

your favorite quote. is. shoulder. shoulder. shoulder. shoulder.

image

image

kingsleyyy:

i want a bf :/

and by bf i mean Benjamin Franklin as in a 100 dollar bill

Love at first sight!

Anonymous

misfits1234:

Hahaha well I’m writing that at this very moment and y’all are gonna like it I hope

Yes, were gonna like it I can promise that.